Brevis Ipsa Vita Est Sed Malis Fit Longior…
by Jai2
Summary: Buffy and Angel's off screen meeting after she came back from the dead.


Title: Brevis Ipsa Vita Est Sed Malis Fit Longior… (1/1)

Author: Jai L

E-mail: MisterZeppo@yahoo.com

Rating: R – For Violence

Disclaimer: The characters do not belong to me, they belong to Joss Whedon and Co. Only the story is mine and is for entertainment purposes only.Category: B/A (Yeah that's right, you read that right.) friendship.

Summary: Missing Scene. I wrote this because I was curious what went down between Buffy and Angel after he finds out she's alive. All we know is that Buffy and Angel both implied that the meeting didn't go well. Occurs on Buffy between the episodes Flooded and Life Serial. And also on Angel between the episodes Carpe Noctem and Fredless.

Author's Note: This fic does not really portray Buffy in the best of light at times. Keep in mind that she's feeling very lost right now. A bonus point for those who know what the title means.

***

Buffy slowly stepped off the bus, hearing the doors close behind her with a soft hiss. She turned around and watched the grey and blue bus move away, kicking up a large cloud of dust in its wake. Buffy shoved her hands into the pockets of her coat and walked away from the road. She looked around her, recognizing the abandoned diner that stood before her.

Years ago, she and Angel came here while they were still dating. It was shortly after he came back from the hell dimension she was forced to send him to. That night they fought, they cried, he told her he never blamed her, and she remembered how his words seemed to lift the burden she carried since that day she impaled him with her sword. She remembered how she finally found some semblance of peace in his words…

Now was no different. Ever since she heard his voice on the phone, she knew she needed to see him. She was certain he would help her. To do what, she had not yet figured out, but she knew she could count on Angel. He would help make things right for her again.

As she walked closer to the worn diner, she heard the crunching of gravel behind her. She didn't need to turn around to know he was standing behind her. A part of her would always know when he's around. The crunching behind her stopped, letting her know Angel had stopped walking.

She turned around slowly, looking at the ground as she did. At first she saw his shoes, black boots that looked pretty worn. As her eyes traveled up, she saw he was wearing black jeans and a tan shirt. As her gaze finally settled on his face, she frowned as she saw the ear to ear grin on his face.

"Buffy." He whispered softly.

Buffy couldn't control herself as she ran forward and leapt into his arms. They tightened around her as she buried her face in his shirt. 

"Oh god, Angel." She mumbled into his chest.

"Shhh." Angel murmured. "It's going to be okay."

Neither spoke for a while. They stood in relative comfort, clutching each other tightly. Angel kept on petting her hair, feeling the smooth strands slipping through his fingers. He didn't think he'd ever be able to hold her again, feel her again. 

The vampire pulled away to look at the Slayer, seeing the sad expression on her face as she stared at the ground. He brought his hand up and smoothed away the tears that were slipping down her cheeks. Her eyes finally met his and he could see all the pain held within them. In the 200 plus years he had roamed the earth, he had never seen eyes as sad as hers were right now.

"Buffy…" He said hesitantly. "What's the matter? What happened?"

Buffy didn't respond. She just kept staring at him. He felt chills run down his spine as he noted the vacant look on her face. 

"Buffy-" He started again.

The petite Slayer leapt into his arms again and firmly planted her lips against his. Her hands clutched at the back of his shirt as she threw everything she had into the kiss. At first he was hesitant, unsure what to do. Eventually he couldn't help but respond to her kiss, pulling her closer to him as he looped his arm around her waist and sucked her bottom lip into his mouth. She moaned in response as her hands fell down from his back. Her hands grabbed his butt firmly enough to cause Angel to almost yelped in her mouth in surprise.

Her hands then moved between their bodies as they ran up and down the muscles in his stomach. Angel growled appreciatively as her hands slipped underneath his shirt and caressed the contours of his stomach. His growling quickly turned into a gasp as he felt Buffy's hands move to his belt and start undoing the buckle. He tried to move away, but Buffy held on tightly to his belt, almost desperately. Panic set in as he brought his hands up to her shoulders and pushed her away hard. Both were gasping from the broken kiss as she stumbled back a step. 

Angel quickly redid his buckle while asking, "Buffy, what the hell did you think you were doing?"

"Angel…" Buffy whispered as she tried to move closer to him. He quickly fell back, trying to keep some distance between himself and his former lover.

Buffy stopping in mid-step as Angel said, "Buffy, we can't. You know what would happen…"

"Please…" Buffy pleaded as tried to reach out for him.

"Buffy, no!" Angel yelled as he slapped her hands away. "Please… Stop."

Tears welled up in Buffy's eyes as she looked away. Angel looked around in confusion as he tried to understand what was happening. This was not how he expected their reunion to go. He didn't understand the vacant expression in her eyes, the desperation in her voice.

Buffy suddenly mumbled, breaking Angel from his reverie. She was still staring at the broken pavement beneath her feet. 

"What?" He asked.

Buffy looked up at him and replied, "I was in heaven."

Angel stood there, dumbfounded. He opened his mouth to say something, only to find that he was speechless. He tried to process this new bit of information, but was having some difficulty accepting it. 

"And they took me from that." Buffy stated as she wrapped her arms around herself to fight off the chill in the night's air. "I was happy, and they ripped me away from that."

"Oh my god." Angel whispered as realization dawned across his face. "Buffy-"

Buffy whirled around and grabbed his hand. Angel looked down at their enjoined hands and back at her.

"Please, come back to Sunnydale." She asked.

"What?" He replied in disbelief. "I-I…"

"Please Angel." Buffy pleaded as she brought his hand up and kissed his palm. "I need you."

Angel looked at Buffy and then to their hands. He could hear the desperation in her voice. He blinked a couple of times before looked at Buffy again.

"I'm sorry." He whispered as he let go of her hand.

Anger flashed across her face, contorting the beautiful features into a mask of rage.

"You're sorry?" She asked mockingly. 

"Buffy, I can't." Angel answered. "You know I love you-"

"If you love me come back!" Buffy interrupted suddenly. "Please."

Angel sighed heavily as he continued, "But not that way anymore."

"What?" Buffy asked with a shocked look across her face. She staggered back a couple steps, as if she were slapped in the face. Angel moved towards her, but she stepped away further.

"I have a life in L.A…" He explained. "A family… Wes, Cordy, Gunn, Fred… I can't abandon them. I can't abandon the people there who need my help. When I heard what happened to you… It killed me. Because I do love you… A part of me always will. But…"

"But what?" Buffy asked. "What?"

"When you died, it hurt so much." He replied back hesitantly. "But it wasn't the end of the world."

The pained look that crossed Buffy's face did more damage to Angel's heart than any stake could.

"I can't believe this…" She whispered to herself as she turned her back to him. "It's falling apart… All of it."

"Buffy-" Angel started as he touched her shoulder tentatively.

Without warning Buffy spun around and backhanded Angel with all her strength, sending him flying away.

"Don't touch me!" She screamed as Angel hit the ground. She stalked towards him, her rage evident on her face. Angel shook his head in a daze, but still managed to catch Buffy's foot as it attempted to connect with his face. He pushed with all his might, causing her to lose her balance and fall to the floor. Within seconds, both were on their feet.

"Buffy…" Angel started, but was cut off by her cry of anger. 

Buffy leapt towards him, punching at him. He managed to block most of the punches as he tried to get Buffy to tire out. One blow connected to his face, sending him reeling backwards. Buffy moved to press her advantage, but Angel wouldn't allow it. She attempted to backhand him, but he caught her fist and used her momentum to swing her away from him. This infuriated her even more as she screamed and rushed towards him. Each punch, each kick was getting sloppier and sloppier by the second. He could see tears running down her face as she tried again and again to hit him. 

Finally, exhausted and worn out, she collapsed forward into Angel's arms. They both fell to their knees, holding each other. Buffy cried in his shoulder as he hugged her tight.

"I'm sorry." She whispered between sobs. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry…"

"Shhhh." Angel cooed in her ear as she wept openly. "It's okay. It's okay."

It wasn't long before they pulled away from each other. Despite her behavior earlier, Angel could see the regret in her eyes.

"I-I don't know what to do Angel." She whispered. "I feel so hollow… So dead. What do I do now?"

"I don't know." Angel answered truthfully. "I wish I could make this better. I wish I had some magical answer…"

"I'm not strong enough to do this." Buffy said as she shook her head. "I'm not."

Angel tipped her head up to look at him and said, "Hey. Hey, look at me… I'm not going to pretend to know what you went through. I can't. But never, ever think you can't handle this. You're the strongest person I know. I'm talking about you Buffy, not the Slayer. You can beat this. You have to be brave Buffy."

"What if I can't?" She asked. "What if there's no light at the end of this long hellish tunnel?"

"Oh there's a light Buffy." Angel said with a small smile. "You've seen it. You were there. You have to have faith that things get better."

Buffy sniffled as she wiped her nose with the back of her hand. She leaned forwards and pulled Angel into a hug. It wasn't like any of their previous hugs. This one wasn't about passion, anger, or solace. Angel could feel it. It was a thank you.

After they pulled away, Buffy managed to give Angel a small smile. And even though he was still worried about her, he knew that ultimately she would be all right. He didn't envy the road ahead of her. It was going to be a real bumpy one, but he knew how strong she was, even if she didn't.

Buffy settled into his arms as the both of them just sat there. He could see that she didn't really want to speak, and he didn't feel the urge to press his luck. He felt guilty because of the pain he caused her, but he couldn't be weak now. She was being thrown into a whole new world, a world much different than the one she has known for the past six years. She needed to be strong, and she couldn't do that if she used him as a crutch.

Hours later as they waited on the side of the road for the bus that would take Buffy back to Sunnydale, Angel made sure to hold her hand. It wasn't an overly romantic gesture as much as it was a sign of friendship.

"Are you going to tell them?" Angel asked Buffy as he saw the headlights of the bus down the road.

"No!" Buffy tensed up. "No… They thought they were doing the right thing. They thought they were saving me… If they knew the truth, it would hurt them."

"You shouldn't go through this alone." He said. "They love you. They didn't mean to hurt you."

"I know…" She replied distantly as the bus neared. "It's just hard sometimes."

Angel frowned as he pulled Buffy into a tight hug. She favored him with a slight smile, which managed to relieve some of the tension he felt. The bus pulled up in front of them and the door swung open with a hiss.

"Promise me you'll talk to someone." He asked as Buffy pulled out of the hug and moved towards the open door. "Promise me you won't do this alone."

"I promise." Buffy replied in a teasing tone. "Worrywart."

Angel grinned.

As Buffy climbed the steps of the Buffy, she looked back at Angel and said, "Thank you… For everything."

Angel smiled slightly, knowing this would be goodbye for a while. "What are friends for?"

For the first time since they had met up, Buffy flashed him a genuine smile. She continued onto the bus, the doors closing behind her. She took an empty seat by the window and waved at Angel. As the bus pulled away he waved back, wishing her the best.


End file.
